Identity Crisis

One of my favorite books 'Into the Silent Land' describes one case where a person suffers from some form of disambiguation wherein he cannot identify with himself , He refuses to accept that voice coming from his mouth his in fact his own .I seem to suffer from something similar, but on a psychological level not on physical level and lot milder . 


I fail to identify myself as human , I do not think , I as such do anything .I do not believe I exercise free will in any way . I am reduced to merely a droid who would respond in a particular manner given appropriate stimulus .


If there ever was a concept of soulless being (not vampires or ghost rider) , I think I would be a contender for it . I can feel pain , I can get angry , I can be flustered , but I no longer can sense calm and peace or can love someone unconditionally .


Upon reflection I realized I have not driven my life in any particular direction , I have never taken any substantialdecision to drive my life/career in any particular direction .I guess I am just expected to go in circle and vanish from face of earth. That would suck..:P