Kaching !!

Christmas weekend was fun ,Although I did not get to see traditional celebration of Christmas .
But I did get to spend it in Casinos Gambling like a mad man in Las Vegas.

So you can now consider yours truly to be an expert in Roulette .(Even though I lost hundreds of  dollars playing it).

I wanted to write a big post detailing all our activities ( well ,almost all ) but too lazy for that. So following are the highlights

1: 14 straight hours of gambling
2: Total over 40 hours of Gambling over an extended weekend.
3: Countless Chivas Regals, about 5 LIIT ,5 Sun rise tequila ,3 Screw Drivers,3 Bloody Marys were mixed
    with around 50000 rupees of gambling.
  << Taking above into consideration outcome was not That bad.>>
4:  Loved Musical Fountains at Bellagio,  Experience which can leave you speechless and awestruck.(Video doesn't do justice to it )
      'You have not seen music come alive till you have seen Bellagio fountains ' Js :P

5 : Good Hotels : Venitician , Bellagio ,MGM Grand
     Good  Casinos : Excalibur,Monte Carlo
     Casino you ought not to visit : NewYork NewYork ,MGM .
6:  Games I played : BlackJack (15 % ),Slot Machine (5%),Roulette (80% ).
7:  Stratosphere Rides :It is an otherwise normal building but very high by LV standards .What makes it different is the fact that it has rides on top of the tower. Kinda thrilling..

xScream :

Big Shot : Its bigger and better than it looks in Video

Insanity Ride :

Though disappointed I did not Sky Jump as I thought its same as Sky Diving :(

Sigh !

It seems I cannot update my blog from my office laptop .The IE version it uses is not supported by blogger.This just goes to show what kind of cutting edge technology I am working on . :P

I tried to change my browsers and found out that Chrome/Safari/Opera/FireFox are  not allowed  to be installed unless you are on some special project which requires them .I cannot understand we can have thousands of dollars of software installed in machine  but not an universal browser .

Well hopefully I will get some work done now ..:D..

~~Thoughts~~

I spent entire day  reading blogs and introspecting . By the time I reached home from office I had already in mind  6-7 things I wanted to blog about .Ofcourse ,by the time I actually opened blogger  I had forgotten everthing ...

Anyway ,My blog is named 'My Thoughts'..So..here goes....


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Well ,I have upgraded my self from borderline misanthrope and social retard to Borderline Misanthrope ,Suffering from Avoidant personality Disorder  and  Nihilist

My Nihilist Quote of the month
 'Regarding life, the wisest men of all ages have judged alike: it is worthless '
                                                                                           Friedreich Neitschze
Side note :
I am contemplating reading atleast one book on or by Friedreich Neitschze. Lets us see if I can follow thorugh on this.I am tiered of Crappy and not so crappy thrillers and pseduo philosophical books.
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Today a colleague of mine and I went on what you can call old man's walk .We talked about things we did when we were 'young ' and how living life from this point onwards is only going to be a monotnous drag .As if we have reached our maximum potential already and there is nothing left for life to offer us.
~~

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I can't believe I have spent 4 years in IT industry .I remember when I was a fresher and I was taking training on ESSBASE from a guy who had around 4 years of exp and I was thinking boy how different would I be 4 years down the line.Turns out not much ...:P .My communication skills are still terrible ,My english is aweful ,Technically I have narrowed my scope to know exactly 5 things about 1 technology * drums rolling *
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Amazon Kindle Fire just released to not so bad reviews.Now I am torn apart between Kindle Fire, Good Android Smart Phone  and  iTouch.

This coupled with New Specs,New York Trip ,Smoky Mountains trips has rendered me nearly bankrupt .
All this  when rupee is nearing an all time low :-(.

~


I was searching in google today to see if there is any word for people who cannot enjoy life.Well I could not find it ,but if there is ,It probably applies to me ;-).

~

My Life

I am not a person who gets nostalgic often ,but I do at times look back to see how my life has changed.

Few Important things that seems to have changed

From getting bored of home food and craving for Pizza and Coke when I was in school ,to craving for home food now and having to contend with Pizza and Coke.
From praying to grow up from life of school and become independent to wishing time would stop forever and not let me grow anymore.
From asking God why you made me so thin and fragile to try and think of ways to reduce weight ( I am horribly out of shape )
From wanting to be a Software pro to wanting to be something ,anything else .(But more creative and laid back :P)

Life seems  to have completed full circle in some ways :-)


Few things though have remained pretty much the same

• Spending hours watching friends has remained pretty much same since over last decade.
• From playing chess with friends I progressed ( or regressed ) to playing chess with computer and then finally with strangers on net.
• From being fan of spider man cartoon to being in awe of batman movies.(Thank you Christopher Nolan for Prestige ,BB, TDK )
• From being excited about afternoon tea and snacks to having to contend with starbucks coffee or frozen yogurt
• From wanting desperately to own a 16 bit video game to play Mario and Contra to wanting to own xbox and xbox kinect.(Though I gotta confess I still  enjoy playing Mario and Contra)

And some habits have just progressed from good to bad ( or vice versa )

From wanting to have Thums Up daily during my school days to having Antiquity Blue during stressful office days to completing Green Label during weekends I finally seemed to have reached a state of having  wine with Dinner ;-)

I used to be an atheist then maybe an agnostic and now possibly a pantheist ..but I thank God from bottom of my heart for his graciousness ,for looking back I cannot think of thing which I truly wanted /needed  and did not find.

Tp

It had been 3 years now ,since he was researching Placebo effect .What confounded him was how it worked ,it all suggested that human brain had power greater than envisioned by anyone .
Every time he wanted to clear his mind ,He would walk on the shore alone accompanied by only his thoughts. It was now when he was staring at infinite power of water that it struck him .It was as if all convoluted knowledge coveted by humans for centuries unfolded plainly in front of him.Everything he had heard but not fully understood, things which made no sense earlier seemed just too obvious now.


He realized what was maya the thing his grandmother taught him over and over again ,How everything was just an illusion ,the things we see , the colors we see ,our thoughts ,our needs.

He already knew that the colors that appear are just illusion ,things don't have color.It is only because they are able to reflect light of particular frequency that they seem colorful to us.Color doesn't really exist.Same as all our emotions like pain ,Physical pain arises only to give indication to your mind that something somewhere is wrong and it must be fixed.It doesn't have to exist if you don't want it.Same applies for even most primal of human feelings ,We feel hungry so that we would eat and live longer .We feel need to copulate or love, only for continuation of human race .It is something our mind tricks us into believing ,as if it is something we need ,something we want ,something we desire.For years humans knew happiness came only from within now he understood the reason.We are the masters of our emotions .All feelings pain and suffering exist only because we want it .we are the one.

Having understood this in a very clear manner ,Having it embedded deeply inside him.He intended to live a very content and strangely detached life.

Crazy Talks

J : So ,Do you believe in this concept of Souls ?
S : Yes . I believe humans have an indestructible component to them.Even after they
die ,it lives on.

J : Only Humans ?
S : Well I am not very sure .
J : Surly you don't believe that an amoeba who doesn't know left from right .Who
does not have any concept of right ,wrong ,ethics or any kind of memory would be
given a soul .Come on that would be like wasting a soul
S : Yeah guess you are right


J : So how do you account for increase in human population over the centuries.If a
soul is indestructible, it is reasonable enough to assume we can't create it
every other second.If there are 1 billion souls there can be only 1 billion
humans ,population can't increase beyond that.

S : hmm.. <1 min gap >
.
.
.
S : I got it "Aliens "



J : Darn ,thats a discussion for another day.

My Death

I was happy..or atleast content with what I had going for me..I roamed lot of places and went great distance..I had everything figured out..and it all seemed so apparent..I was part of big group (you can call it famil)y and was never lonely there was never an disagreement..Pain had not shown his face sinces eons..Could things be more perfect ...?
But then they told me I would have to leave..I knew I was going was to die...Knowing that I may never be able to do wonderful things that I take for granted now was as hard as having to part from the group I had spent my life with....I thried to think of it is as change but I knew I was going for long suffering..I did not want to die but I had no option..
I could not hold back ,I felt tears forming in me..and thus I was born.

Waiting to be Reincarnated...

If you know me then you know that I am not a big sports buff or big politics buff or big anything buff..
I am a very simple guy @heart.I love the things I love...
Its true I am melancholic most of the time and I know not what being happy means..but I have my moments..
I like not doing anything ..I like(d) going on walks..I like reading book ..I like introspecting...Getting inspired by fictitous characters..getting lost in thoughts ..I never thought some body could take even this away from me...
Now swampped by work and clouded by fear of my incompetency in new environment..I have lost it.... lost my thoughts..my characteristic ..my hobbies..I have lost things that defined my individuality...I have stopped caring about Things dear to me ...Waiting for someone /something to infuse fresh batch of life in me..

Profession of deranged mind

Can you read my thoughts ?..I think you can ,otherwise what would would be the point of having them..I don't have much time I must tell you few things..

I think it really started about a year ago in January.I met with an accident which changed my life ..you see I became delusional ..It is getting increasingly difficult for me to differentiate between dreams , reality ,past ,present or so people say..I find everythg to be very real..

It was holi and I wanted to play with you ,I came to your house but you were playing with someone else..It seemed very intimate ..I did not want to intrude..So I started leaving..I called you in the evening to wish you..but you told me I already wished you in the morning when we were playing holi ..A never foreseen smile spread across my face ...

It was holi and I wanted to play with you , I came to your house but you were playing with someone else..It seemed very intimate ..I did not want to intrude ..but I could not help my self ..I could not control..I wanted to touch your face the way he did... see that smile on your face again..I approached you but you were going away..I tried to follow you..but you were too fast I could not keep up..

I called you again few days later and expressed my one wish.. my only wish... to take you to a beach... I saw you at the beach ..I started running towards you but I was already there..there with you..we were walking hand in hand..and I (with whom you were walking ) said something that made you laugh..I wanted to see your face I came closer to you ..but before I could see you I caught a glimpse of myself... I seemed in better phyiscal condition ..I was slimmer , taller..but then I realised its not me..it was the same guy who played holi with you ..You saw me and seemed surprised by my sudden appearance..I gestured towards the sea and I knew you understood..I wanted you to accompany me..you ran behind me not to accompany me but perhaps to save me..but he held you back..

I cannot swim and I am glad for it..I see a big wave comign towards me it will engulf me and free me from every reality...I continue walking.....In next few moments I would wake up to reality or eliminate it once and for all..

Diff..

My First Timers

1 : Taking bath in bathtub :d
2 : Coming down from 9th floor of bldg by stairs..
3 : Chopping onions
4 : Burning hand after making ready 2 eat pop corn ( don't ask its embarrassing..:P )
5 : Going in a plane, whose inside is smaller than innova
6 : Jumping form height of 14000 feet..:)..(With parachute of course..:) )
7 : Holding a baby alligator in m hand..

Another Stab

~~~

'Are you sure?'

'Yes Professor, I don't have anything to lose'

'I should probably call the police and inform them about you'

'I did it in spur of the moment and have regretted ever since. When I saw her hugging Yash, when I heard those words from her mouth, I could not but stop myself .If this fails I would commit suicide, I cannot imagine a world without her'

'That doesn't exactly justify you killing two people, but I have my own selfish reasons to do this, besides I think I have already helped you'

'I don't mind dying for her now.'

'Now let me tell you not everything needs to be same as before you might look little different and your memory might not serve you perfectly . '

'I don't understand, you said I could go back in time'

'That's true ,but the machine is not perfect, although I would try to send you back in time in our universe you must remember there are millions of parallel universe and when you alter entropy the way I am doing ,there is a good possibility you may reach adjacent universe.

'I'll just pretend I understood it'

'Are you ready?’

Jai woke up with a severe headache and thought of bad dream he just had. But then he took one look at the place and felt nauseated. He felt the same yet different .He was in the cabin with the professor who eyed him suspiciously

'What happened professor, did it not work?'

'Did what not work?’

Next two minutes were spent in silence wherein both professor and Jai realized what had happened

Jai ran out of the cabin not wanting to have to explain anything to professor.

He tried to find his house but could not find it. He tried to fit into his past life, Jai’s life, but he could not find it. He decided to build his own, new life from scratch.

It took him 3 years to get build a new life for himself. Though not as good as his previous life. He had a home to stay, he had a low paying but respectable job and most importantly he had managed to meed Jasmine the love of his life first time again '

He knew her in and out and did everything to get close to her and he had a feeling it was working for him.He had already professed his love for her, however she had remained non committal.

Then one fateful day when he met her

‘Jayesh you know what, I don't like to call you by my Dad's name’

Had Jai not heard that before, He remembered how she had said the exact same thing to him and then told him she would call him Jai instead .

A smile appeared on his face as she hugged her and grew even bigger when she started to say

'I think I will call you Yash' She continued ' and one more thing Yash , I love you more than any person I have ever loved '

Smile disappeared from his face as he saw a stranger staring at both of them with a gun in his hand.












~~

My Days


2nd April : Match..need I say anything more..??
3rd April : Met an old college friend ,ganged up with some school friends for Tp masti..
4th April : Entire day went by in explaining to people why I don't have anything planned on my
birthday
5th April : Replying to FB wishes ,SMSes and eating cakes and chocs ,courtesy office colleagues..

Psyche

"Hey Jai”

In spite of their friendly relationship Jai wanted to maintain certain decorum in the hospital
So he reprimanded Sri .

"Do I have to tell it to you again”

“Dr. Jai" replied Sri with heavy stress on word Doctor "Jimmy boy is been assigned to you"

"hmm..This seems interesting, When are we meeting "

"In about 10 minutes, Ill bring him over "

Jimmy walked in escorted by Sri ,He was not like typical mental asylum patient .His cloths were clean ,he was wearing little rimless spectacle and had a suave confidence about himself .

"How are you?”

"Well how good can one be in a mental asylum" Jimmy said with a smug on his face.

Jai had an inherent hatred for paper .He could never maintain them once he wrote something it , It just seemed to disappear somewhere .On more than one occasion he felt like he should upgrade to a notebook. However to maintain stereotype and tradition, he started scribbling notes on a piece of paper provided by Sri.

"How about you, how are you?”

"Well you know the same old routine, pretty ok actually” replied Jai with a reassuring smile.

To Jai's surprise Jimmy also started scribbling something on piece of paper. Jai looked at Sri and gave him a knowing smile.

They continued talking for half an hour in which both shared there past near death experiences and trauma that followed.

When it was time for Jimmy to leave, Jai was pretty satisfied. He asked Sri to escort Jimmy back and come in for a small chat.

"Well we can clearly make out that he is delusional, since past few days he has been acting like he is a psychiatrist ".Jai waited for Sri’s response and then continued

"But I could not see any violent streak in him and he is still very sharp and witty. Only if he were to accept his condition, we could see tremendous improvement in him”

"How do you think we would be able to achieve that?”

"See problem is, if you take him to entirely new environment he will assume some other role and entire cycle would be repeated”

Jai was gazing out of small window in his office "Tell management I want two more days, I would have to present Jimmy with evidence in a manner which doesn't entirely shatter him and is also acceptable to him”

"Very well Sir” quipped Sri


5 hours later, in a bar with whiskey in one hand and eye fixed on television he spoke

“Most unusual case, won't you say so Dr Jimmy? “Asked Sri

“Yes for his sake, let's hope Jai comes up with reasonable plan "

My Weekend..

Maximum City :

Author : Suketu Mehta
Genre : Non Fiction
Subject of book : Mumbai

Author does a fine job for taking us through all that city is known for, spacious homes of middle and lower middle class, Gang wars , Movie Business ,Mumbai Police ,Slums ,Cleanliness in the city,Big dreams of people ,Power play ,Regional Politicians.

And considering the fact that this is the first non tech ,non sci , non fictional book that I have gone through and read completely should speak volumes about it.

Must read for every one associated with Mumbai ,Good read for others too :)


Jeeves and the feudal spirit :

Typical P.G.Wodehouse book .
It has Bertram Wooster,Jeeves,Aunt Daliha what else would you need.But although an agreeable read it lacks the zing and humor of 'Inimitable Jeeves ' or 'Ring for Jeeves ' or ' Carry on Jeeves ' :P.Overall bit bland ,because I did not find myself laughing as often.


Saat Khoon Maaf


Ok, I know thousands of people have already criticized movie and even more would be ready to do the same.But well I liked the movie .It wasn't best of the movies that I have seen.

But considering the normal standards of Hindi Movies this was a delight.

Good Cinematography ,Fast Pace ,No Cheesy lines/pakao jokes .Some amount of gore .Priyanka looking hot and ravishing in certain scenes.Some scenes would just take your heart away and make you feel proud to be associated with Hindi cinema

All in all ,one time worth watching .

Nostalgic :P

I was afraid
I would never able to love someone
as much as I loved you..

Now I just pray
that I should never be able to hate someone
as much as..