Making of a Murderer

It is often said that killing changes a person, something inside you also dies. But I was not so sure, first time I killed I was just nervous and frustrated, and then relieved that it was finally completed. But it was true, I was changing slowly but surely I was getting more comfortable with it. I progressed from different stages not always linear, anxiety was replaced with fear, shame and even guilt. Till one day I was ready with the weapon and eager for my prey. I not only was not dreading the act but I could feel the euphoria the release of oxytocin after the act was completed. That was not all though I had tasted blood albeit metaphorically and I no longer wanted to give up.  I was only holding my weapon, more sternly I had not given up. I did not want to give up, I wanted to continue, continue with my electric bat till all the damn mosquitos were killed. 

Right to Wrong

 Sometimes when we put words and thoughts on paper it seems very trivial yet when we look on the society it doesn't always seem that apparent. For instance does a Good deed wash away a bad deed. At first thought it seems plausible and not completely egregious may be if you were made fun of as college junior you would do it others when you become seniors. May be if you had to work more when you entered workforce you do the same when you are on other side of isle. However, by and large as a society we do not think it is acceptable  - that is the reason even if a doctor who has saved 100s of lives murders someone he is still considered a criminal and doesn't simply get 99 passes to kill other people. Seems logical. Yet so often we seem to forget it, we forget it when we have been wronged and think it is ok to wrong others. This is where perhaps person's morality and character comes to play - you either perpetuate the cycle and give back what you got, or remember that you don’t have a right to wrong someone even if you have been wronged. 

Right to Write

When I start to write something oftentimes I wonder is there any point to writing this if no one is ever going to read it. Isn't it all a waste of time. But then I am reminded of words of my friend who used to say writing is sometimes cathartic. The more I thought the more it seemed to make sense, people hum tunes, sing songs even when no one is listening, practice dance for fun or play musical instrument for self indulgence. Why should it be any different for writing. It is like any other art form, look at a painting in correct light and it will may draw you in, listen to a song and it can bring back memories, and words are oftentimes all the more powerful. Words have changed rulers, persisted thoughts and stories from generation to generation. Sometimes a poem decides it needs to be written and falls on your lap. Sometimes an idea needs to enter this world and needs a medium. Sometimes your subconscious needs to talk to you and it can only communicate through fiction. So of all the ways one can pass time, writing something someone may never read doesn't seem especially an egregious one. So dance like no one is watching you, doodle like you are Van Gogh and write like you were meant to bring those words in this world even if no one is going to read them.